Sometimes...I do. Just kidding, I've never actually woken up by the door. But I have metaphorically woken up by the door, waiting to walk out. I love my parents. I love my home. I love my family. I don't really want to move out.
But I do want to make my own decisions. I want to be able to respect myself and feel that I am trusted by those around me, and not only trusted on their own petty, narrow views of how I should act, but trusted to be able to make my own decisions for how I should act. I am willing to take responsibility for those actions, but responsibility for breaking the laws of God and man, not for failing to follow a strict code of action which I believe to be unnecessary. I'm not six. I am an intelligent human being who knows right from wrong.
And so I pray for patience. Because somewhere along the line I have to stop feeling restrained and understand that I am loved. But I can't help myself. I feel like I will never truly be trusted by those around me, and so I am restrained by their rules. I feel that in order to escape my past, I would have to leave.
I know in my mind that this is not true. But my heart is less logical.
But I am loved.
Set Fire to the Rain. ADELE
Stars
This is life: the beauty is there, and then all the time, every minute, a little piece of heaven falls right into your hand. You just have to open your palm and accept it.
