The World Falls Down

So...I don't expect anyone to read this, but I need an outlet. Sometimes, the world around me crashes down, and that has been this week to its fullest. It started out contacting someone I loved very much, and telling him that we couldn't be together, because of my religious beliefs. It was literally, the hardest thing I have ever done. Since then, my heart has been ground into a million tiny shard of beautiful colored glass, as we both attempted to live with that decision.
Luckily, my amazing and wonderful best friend was there for me. I don't know what it was, but the sheer fact that she was able to listen to my problems and not judge me for all of the messed up relationships I've had, was incredible. It's even more incredible because she hated me until a month ago.
Long story. Her previous best friend hated me, because I...well...I'd like to think that I look for the stars. I love light, and I love the analogies it forms with light.
Also...color. I love color, and I love the way it connects with people and things. I see people as colors, which change as we do. Currently I'm green. My best friend is orange, and her previous best friend is purple. For some reason, green and orange should not go together, but they do and it is lovely. Green and purple are far too compatible for our complicated world.
Don't get me wrong, I love Julia-Rose. I love the way she looks at life and her incredible creative mind. But just as chocolate and olives are both delicious, they should not go together. That is she and I in a nutshell.
Pretty much, the combination of those three people, plus a few more, have made my life a mess of confusion and pain for the last year or so.
But there is proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I have discovered the importance of your family, because my sister was the only one to continually stand by me. I have discovered the loveliness of cream cheese filled cupcakes, embroidery floss anklets, six hour conversations through the night...and most of all of the stars.
They shine for me. For you. For all who care to see.

Ever the Same Rob Thomas