Wait for It

I like to pretend that I will be the person I've always wanted to  be simply because life has a new beginning. A new friend, a new day, a  new year...new things make me want to change. But I have come to know and accept that change is gradual. Just because I feel new doesn't mean anyone else will see it. I had an experience with my <friend?> Richard, in which neither of us acted the way we were used to the other one acting.

And it hurt. Because when you change without someone realizing, they don't always accept or like or care about the change.

But I can do it. I can change both gradually and drastically...at least I think I can. Those who truly love me will love me as I am, right? And being alone and smiling at the world because I see the love is better than being a porcelain doll hiding behind a painted face. Because porcelain is fragile, and crystal shatters.

I would rather be a flawed flesh and blood than an untainted doll.

Because who I am is enough. What I have to give is enough. My light shines brightly enough to be a beacon.

And no one can tell me that I'm not good enough.

I'm just beautiful me. Extraordinary.

Wait for It, Ben Truman